Thursday, September 30, 2010

All companies are created equal under company law but some achieve greatness by association. If time had no barrier and you could live a totally filmy life these are few companies you out to work for -


1) Jackson Tolaram Company - An accounting firm of repute actually ill repute .famous for love marriages among co-workers. Most famous employee- Mr.Arun Pradeep aka Amol Palekar Designation- account officer. The company office is /near World trade centre Mumbai 07 & 08th Floor. The lunch options are Samovar inside Jehangir Art Gallery ;famous for Chicken alafoos  and Chinese food. You can catch matinee show at Gaiety where Amitabh starrer Zameer is being shown. In case you have some personality issues you can take a train to Khandala to meet Colonel Julius Nagendranath Wilfred Singh   the author of best  seller   date rape  book  "Drawing se bedroom tak - in 3 आसान चालों में". You have to take a left at the Khandala  satiation to reach Col’s residence/training institute .
२) Bhavani Shankar  Enterprises - Depending on the calendar year it could be an general trading company or just another company, what remains constant is the owner Bhavani Shankar aka Utpal Dutt- defender of faith, protector of mustache(chooti se baat) ,bachelor( naram garam),disciplinarian and dismissive of black pearl (Pele).
You can only be recurited to the firm at the pay of 850Rs per month if you could go through a demanding interview . The interview will focus on examining a balance sheet( prepeared by Mr. Bhavani shankar himself) and general awareness question. Any attempt to answer the question correctly willl go against you. If you are amongst the 30-40,000 people who welcomed Pele at Old Dumdum airport at Kolkata at midnight you can kiss this job goodbye as well.
Your other co-worker  is Mr. Bade babu who is Urdu speaking, शेर rendering  “nose –gardener”. His views on time management is in direct contrast to owner’s philosophy but still are tolerated in the company.
If you could point out the mistakes in the existing accounts and actually demonstrate that Bhavani Shankar has been overpaying its supplier you get a chance for a pay hike. Taking a half day leave on account of your non-existing mother’s illness and being spotted at a hockey test match  by Mr. Bhavani Shankar will spell “GOLMAL” for your career.   
३) जबलपुर बीडी कारखाना -
The best place to work for Mr. Ahmed S/o Maulvi @ Ramghargh ( aka Sachin). Recommend by his uncle Hiddayaltulla(??) the bidi karkhana is nice place to work .Apart from the usual great pay and local supervision by uncle(mamujaan) the added advantage is to have free bidi at your lunch break and coffee breaks.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

My Fav blogger has come up with his book and I strongly recommend everyone to buy his book. Meanwhile I will try to enter "a shameless promotion stunt" to get a FREE copy.
So here is the contest
1) Please visit the link http://greatbong.net/book to read and feel what it is all about.
2)My top 10 Hindi movie lines

1. भैंस पूँछ उठाएगी तो गाना नहीं गाएगी ,गोबर ही करेगी ( Prem Chopra, Aaj ka Arjun)
Roughly translated in queen's language-
if a domestic Asian water buffalo (Bubalus bubalis) lifts its appendage to the torso(tail) .It is more likely to produce feces( bull shit) than perfect Raag bhairvi.
This translation proves you can take a dialogue from Prem Chopra but you can’t take Prem Chopra from the dialogue.(read it till you get the joke)


2 When I dead, Police coming
Police coming, bhudiya going jail
In jail Bhudiya chakki peesing and peesing and peesing ( Dharmendra, Sholay)
Another example where translation does not make sense.
Now Veeru has been up on the water tank tower for last 3.4 minute explaining how the greater universe will suffer because of the refusal of Mausi to the marriage. But as the movie is about India – unless you speak queen’s language nobody takes you seriously. So when Viru starts english everybody starts listening.To refresh your memory Mausi & Basanti say yes after this English speech. I rest my case.
3)
आया हूँ तो कुछ तो लूट के ले जाऊँगा ! खानदानी  चोर  हूँ खानदानी
!!
There have been Villains & and there will be villains but only GOGO remains the breed apart. We are told that all villains have a flaw in their character hence they act villainous.
Only Gogo claim to do the villainy because of his lineage. So you can safely start hating the sinner as it all runs in the family .

4) साले दारू तो तुने भी जम की पी हें ,बदमाश !! ( Om puri, Jane bhi Do yaron)
As far as drunk scenes and dialogues go this  is the gem and the most quoted one during any drinking session. It is logically followed by another gem of drinking sessions “ गाडी "मैं" चलाऊंगा “ .
5) कितने आदमी थे - No explanation required

Thursday, January 21, 2010