Thursday, September 11, 2014

Return of the traveller


" The traveler slowly opens the lock ,he has not seen the inside of this  room for last 5 years . The room smells of stale air as if the world has stopped inside.

As his eyes slowly adjust to the lights,unknown things start becoming familiar.Dust is everywhere so the traveler spruces up a small place to sit.

Soon memories from all corner overwhelm him,conversation held in past start ringing in his ears.He is not sure if they actually happened or imagination of his tired and weary mind.

He hears laughter and sighs,celebration of victories and consolation for setbacks. He tries to shut down the noise but memories have their own way.

This room is his and the traveler plans to claim it back. He plans to create more memory here."

This is the poetic version of what happened here on the blog. I stopped writing for 5 years and now have felt the urge again to regain this space.  

Have started the clean up and hope to create more memories here.


So watch out for the space.  



Thursday, September 30, 2010

All companies are created equal under company law but some achieve greatness by association. If time had no barrier and you could live a totally filmy life these are few companies you out to work for -


1) Jackson Tolaram Company - An accounting firm of repute actually ill repute .famous for love marriages among co-workers. Most famous employee- Mr.Arun Pradeep aka Amol Palekar Designation- account officer. The company office is /near World trade centre Mumbai 07 & 08th Floor. The lunch options are Samovar inside Jehangir Art Gallery ;famous for Chicken alafoos  and Chinese food. You can catch matinee show at Gaiety where Amitabh starrer Zameer is being shown. In case you have some personality issues you can take a train to Khandala to meet Colonel Julius Nagendranath Wilfred Singh   the author of best  seller   date rape  book  "Drawing se bedroom tak - in 3 आसान चालों में". You have to take a left at the Khandala  satiation to reach Col’s residence/training institute .
२) Bhavani Shankar  Enterprises - Depending on the calendar year it could be an general trading company or just another company, what remains constant is the owner Bhavani Shankar aka Utpal Dutt- defender of faith, protector of mustache(chooti se baat) ,bachelor( naram garam),disciplinarian and dismissive of black pearl (Pele).
You can only be recurited to the firm at the pay of 850Rs per month if you could go through a demanding interview . The interview will focus on examining a balance sheet( prepeared by Mr. Bhavani shankar himself) and general awareness question. Any attempt to answer the question correctly willl go against you. If you are amongst the 30-40,000 people who welcomed Pele at Old Dumdum airport at Kolkata at midnight you can kiss this job goodbye as well.
Your other co-worker  is Mr. Bade babu who is Urdu speaking, शेर rendering  “nose –gardener”. His views on time management is in direct contrast to owner’s philosophy but still are tolerated in the company.
If you could point out the mistakes in the existing accounts and actually demonstrate that Bhavani Shankar has been overpaying its supplier you get a chance for a pay hike. Taking a half day leave on account of your non-existing mother’s illness and being spotted at a hockey test match  by Mr. Bhavani Shankar will spell “GOLMAL” for your career.   
३) जबलपुर बीडी कारखाना -
The best place to work for Mr. Ahmed S/o Maulvi @ Ramghargh ( aka Sachin). Recommend by his uncle Hiddayaltulla(??) the bidi karkhana is nice place to work .Apart from the usual great pay and local supervision by uncle(mamujaan) the added advantage is to have free bidi at your lunch break and coffee breaks.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

My Fav blogger has come up with his book and I strongly recommend everyone to buy his book. Meanwhile I will try to enter "a shameless promotion stunt" to get a FREE copy.
So here is the contest
1) Please visit the link http://greatbong.net/book to read and feel what it is all about.
2)My top 10 Hindi movie lines

1. भैंस पूँछ उठाएगी तो गाना नहीं गाएगी ,गोबर ही करेगी ( Prem Chopra, Aaj ka Arjun)
Roughly translated in queen's language-
if a domestic Asian water buffalo (Bubalus bubalis) lifts its appendage to the torso(tail) .It is more likely to produce feces( bull shit) than perfect Raag bhairvi.
This translation proves you can take a dialogue from Prem Chopra but you can’t take Prem Chopra from the dialogue.(read it till you get the joke)


2 When I dead, Police coming
Police coming, bhudiya going jail
In jail Bhudiya chakki peesing and peesing and peesing ( Dharmendra, Sholay)
Another example where translation does not make sense.
Now Veeru has been up on the water tank tower for last 3.4 minute explaining how the greater universe will suffer because of the refusal of Mausi to the marriage. But as the movie is about India – unless you speak queen’s language nobody takes you seriously. So when Viru starts english everybody starts listening.To refresh your memory Mausi & Basanti say yes after this English speech. I rest my case.
3)
आया हूँ तो कुछ तो लूट के ले जाऊँगा ! खानदानी  चोर  हूँ खानदानी
!!
There have been Villains & and there will be villains but only GOGO remains the breed apart. We are told that all villains have a flaw in their character hence they act villainous.
Only Gogo claim to do the villainy because of his lineage. So you can safely start hating the sinner as it all runs in the family .

4) साले दारू तो तुने भी जम की पी हें ,बदमाश !! ( Om puri, Jane bhi Do yaron)
As far as drunk scenes and dialogues go this  is the gem and the most quoted one during any drinking session. It is logically followed by another gem of drinking sessions “ गाडी "मैं" चलाऊंगा “ .
5) कितने आदमी थे - No explanation required

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Was trawling the web when came across this at http://avinashkishoreshahi.wordpress.com/2008/06/29/babul-tum-bagiyaa-ke-taruvar-gopal-singh-nepali-dharmyug-1957/ . Really liked the poetry -

Babul Tum Bagiyaa Ke Taruvar (Gopal Singh Nepali, Dharmyug 1957)

Babul tum bagiya ke taruvar, ham taruvar ki chidiyaan re

Dana chugte ud jaayen ham, piya milan ki ghadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Babul tum bagiya ke taruvar…….

Aankhon se aansoo nikle to peechhe take nahi mudke

Ghar ki kanya ban ka panchhi, firein na daali se udke

Baaji haari hui triya ki

Janam-janam saugaat piya ki

Babul tum goonge naina, ham aanso ki fuljhadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Hamko sudh na janam ke pehle, apni kahan ataari thi

Aankh khuli to nabh ke neeche, ham the god tumhaari thi

Aisa tha wah rain-basera

Jahan saanjh bhi lage savera

Babul tum giriraj Himalaya, ham jharnon ki kadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Chhitraaye nau lakh sitaare, teri nabh ki chhaya mein

Mandir-moorat, teerath dekhe, hamne teri kaaya mein

Dukh mein bhi hamne sukh dekha

Tumne bas kanya mukh dekha

Babul tum kulvansh kamal ho, ham komal pnkhudiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Bachpan ke bholepan par jab, chhitke rang jawani ke

Pyas preeti ki jaagi to ham, meen bane bin paani ke

Janam-janam ke pyase naina

Chahe nahin kunwaare rehna

Babul dhoondh firo tum hamko, ham dhoondhe bawariya re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Chadhti umar badhi to kul-maryada se ja takrayi

Pagdi girne ke dar se, duniya ja doli le aayi

Man roya, goonji shehnai

Nayan bahein, chunri pehnayi

Pehnayi chunri suhaag ki, ya daali hathkadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Mantra padhe sau sadi purane, reet nibhai preet nahi

Tan ka sauda kar ke bhi to, paya man ka meet nahi

Gaan phool sa, kaante pag mein

Jag ke liye jiye ham jag mein

Babul tum pagdi samaj ke, ham path ki kankadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Maang rachi aansoo ke upar, ghoonghat geeli aankhon par

Byah naam se yah leela zaahir karwayi laakhon par

…..

….

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Neh laga to naiihar chhoota, piya mile bichhudi sakhiyaan

Pyar batakar peer mili to neer banin footi aankhiyaan

Hui chalakar chaal purani

Nayi jawani paani paani

Chali manane chir vasant mein, jyon sawan ki jhadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Dekha jo sasural pahunchkar, to duniya hi nyari thi

Phoolon sa tha desh hara, par kaanto ki phulwari thi

Kehne ko saare apne the

Par din dopahar ke sapne the

Mili naam par komalta ke, kewal naram kankadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Ved shashtra the likhe purush ke, mushkil tha bachkar jaana

Haara daanv bacha lene ko, pati ko parmeshwar jaana

Dulhan banker diya jalaya

Dasi banker ghar bar chalaya

Maa banker mamta baanti to, mahal bani jhonpadiya re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Man ki sez sula priyatam ko, deep nayan ka mand kia

Chhuda jagat se apne ko, sindur bindu mein band kia

Zanzeeron mein baandha tan ko

Tyag-raag se saadha man ko

Panchhi ke ud jaane par hi, kholi nayan kiwadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Janam lia to jale pita-maa, yauvan khila nanad-bhabhi

Byah racha to jala muhalla, putra hua to bandhya bhi

Jale hriday ke andar naari

Us par bahar duniya saari

Mar jaane par bhi marghat mein, jal-jal uthi lakadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Janam-janam jag ke nakhre par, saj-dhajkar jaayen vaari

Fir bhi samjhe gaye raat-din ham tadan ke adhikaari

Pehle gaye piya jo hamse

Adham bane ham yahan adham se

Pehle hi ham chal basein, to fir jag baatein rewadiyaan re

Ud jaayen to laut na aayen, jyon moti ki ladiyaan re

Monday, October 06, 2008

How to prove that you are bored

1) Touching hot plate to check if it is " hot " enough

2) More example to follow

-:)

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Bored to death

When was the last time i used this term lightly. i wanna find that time - travel back in time - and kick myself in butt.

I also vow not to use the term lightly in remembrance to the current days- Amen

Thursday, September 11, 2008

In Yankee Land

Some people just don't get it -:) imagine your grandfather in Bermudas with black knee length nylon socks.

Now imagine the same grandfather chairing your monthly review meeting. i have to endure this ordeal every month.

I cannot figure is it age or just the side-effect of Yankee land. it is one thing to be inspired by the surrounding and QUITE another to become the surrounding.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Martin Niemoeller- He knew what was coming


First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out--
because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out--
because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out--
because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out--
because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me--
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Is the big brother watching

In just about 4 hours in putting my post on IIPM PM of Japan Mr. Junichiro Koizumi received a collect call from India from "Mgmt Guru".

The call conveyed the short & swift message to direct the PM to ask one of the bigger company's smaller Indian operation to gag its lowly paid employee for some "stupid" comments on blog.

the call ended with threat of relasing RKSKTL in JAPAN and also full page ad of his new Kyoto & Tokyo campus of his IIM(P) in all Japanese newspaper in FULL COLOUR & FULL PAGE.

Undersatnding the gravity the needful has been done by Japanese PM and now i must go underground or else BIG BROTHER is watching

COZ TRUTH MUST PREVAIL

Blog world is abuzz with IIPM Vs Truth "Fight to the finish".

The background is two bloggers Rashmi Bansal & Gaurav Sabnis exposed the so called Management guru- Arindam "pony tail" Chowdhuri & his famous "TOI Full page ad" IIPM.

IIPM responded true to its class not by denouncing bloggers claims but putting more bogus claim about a "AAJ TAK" story in which Rashmi Bansal is taking money from AMITY to denounce IIPM.

Next wave came in forms of Mental retard "students" of IIPM posting true to their worth comment on rashmi's blog putting all kind of crap doubting the identity,sexual preference etc.

then they setup fake blog denouncing the claims and one even claiming to be "real Gaurav".

Now Gaurav's employee IBM was asked to "pressurize" Gaurav to remove content from his blog else IIPM student will burn LAPTOP.( way to go guys).

Then the Happening of the Day - Gaurav Sabnis resigned from IBM. This guy actually did what he believed in.

It is very easy to say one thing but very hard to walk the talk. With impersonal blog it would have been easy for Gaurav to just delete the whole blog if necessary and carry on with his life.After all he has nothing to do with IIPM or Mr.Poneytail

Although have not met Gaurav personally but i know him through Quizzing faternity of Pune and through a common friend but after what he did would acatually like to shake hands with him.

As he did what he actually belived in. hats off to you Gaurav!!

To IIPM & Mr. Pony Tail- This guy has left his job to prove what he beileves what truth is. Can we expect same decency from your side?


I may not agree with what you say, but I shall defend to the death
your right to say it. - Voltaire

Monday, October 10, 2005

Old songs Reduex

Two recent ads have used old and forgotten Hindi movie songs to great effect

1) The Radio mirchi- "Accident Ad"- two guys bang their car and instead of breaking in to obscenities break into song and dance . The song aptly used is from movie Collie and the song is "Accident ho gaya rabba rabba".

Nice mix of song and situation and then the punchline "mirchi sunnawale always khush".

Even ad dekhne wale bhi khush.

2)Recent Bajaj ad with beaustiful Kabhi Kabhi trek "tere chere se najar hathi". Nice song placement but the ad looked too far fetched.

However the use of these songs which we know so well in new places makes " my dil goes hmmmmmmmmmm"!!!
Zingoism - NAAHH!!!!
POST SCRIPT: This Mail was attributed to "MR.Vijay Kranti Dean - IIT Madras" However it turned to be a hoax. However the views hold good still

In the middle of 1965 India-Pakistan war, US govt - then a close friend of
Pakistan - threatened India with stopping food-aid (remember "PL-480"?).
For a food deficient India this threat was serious and humiliating. So much
so that in the middle of war, Prime Minister (Late) Lal Bahadur Shastri
went to Ram Leela Grounds in Delhi and appealed to each Indian to observe
one-meal-fast every week to answer the American threat. As a school boy, I
joined those millions who responded to Shastri ji's call. I continued the
fast even when the war was over and India became self sufficient in food.
Hurt deep by the national humiliation suffered at the hands of the US govt,
I had vowed to stop my weekly fast only when India starts giving aid to USA.
It took just 40 years. Last week THE day arrived. When Indian ambassador in
Washington DC handed over a cheque of US$ 50 million to the US govt, two
plane loads of food, medical aid and other relief materials were waiting to
fly to the USA. Time to break the fast? With no bad feeling about the USA,
and good wishes for the Katrina victims, this humble Indian feels proud of
the distance India has covered in 40 years. Let's celebrate a New India!"

Friday, September 30, 2005

Smart Moi

Emotional Setting

Eve : Do you love my face or my touch?

Tricky question, either reply will cause doom.

Moi: I love to touch your face and also face your touch(!!!!)

Situtation defused----

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

PHILOSOPHY FOR THE DAY


What would you call someone who is trying to stop your soul from meeting from its creator - the supreme soul - god himself?

Devil

Nah think again it could be you!!!

Hypothetically the soul(sole ) purpose of us (human being) is to bid our time on earth doing Karma and fulfill our karmic destiny and meet our creator- the supreme being or whatever he/she/it is called by you.

So consequently the more time we spend on earth is actually keeping us away from the chance of life time( pun intended) to meet our creator/provider/supreme soul etc etc. to add to it we are delaying our entry into the jannat,paradise,swarg,utopia( whatever you call it).

So all those people sweating out in smelly clothes on tread mill when you can actually catch some more winks .

To all these people who deny the pleasure of sinful chocolates and other tasty foods for trying out boiled vegetables. ( another observation all health foods have no taste/yucky taste probably that's why they are health foods. need more clarity compare boiled vegetables with really well made Golgappas - gott it!! )

To all those who keep tab on their weight/waist size/BMI/sugar etc etc .

STOP FOOLING AROUND , EAT DRINK AND MARRY ( ya ya wrong spelling), DIE YOUNG, MEET YOUR CREATOR FAST

for all those who don't believe in all the above

EAT DRINK and MARRY ( later), STAY YOUNG , WRITE BLOGS

Monday, August 22, 2005

Back to office grind after 3 magical days in dhanoulty.

India is full of beauty but the problem that we are just 500 million more of us to enjoy that.

Hence the tour started on a sore note as we arrived Kashmiri gate ISBT .

Boy, the station resembled Lahore railway station as on 14th August 1947. All jostling and pushing to catch elusive bus to dehradun and mussoorie. After mushy spate about"how planning would have helped" and general accusations of " not organized enough" with my partner, managed to get tickets to one of the JUNTA buses.

Horror of horrors that turned out to be the one which has raised floor due to back tyres. People familiar with UPSRTC busses can imagine the "leg space" if any. Coupled with it it was a three seater and the person sitting on extreme left had a pole to limit his body expense to the available seat only crimping us further. After 5 minutes the bus started and we felt like human but as poetic justice our JUNTA bus driver - taking the insult of driving a JUNTA bus to its heart, performed some really cool stunt and left even the venerable VOLVO behind and was the first bus to reach duration that morning at 4 am!!.

Imagine traveling 250 Km in 5.5 hour that too in middle of night and some really unsafe driving . it might look little slow but believe me it was FAST.

Managed to get the first bus to Mussoorie and then onwards Taxi to Dhanoulty. Finally at 7 reached dhanoulty. The morning sun was really beautiful and it reflected on really green fresh-from-rains country side. Rains have magical effects on mountain as if the whole mountains wrap themselves in green shawls( sorry for such lousy ones). The air was fresher and crispier. the taxi driver surprised us by putting on the ever dependable FM and airwaves were filled with kishore songs. Magical.

Rest three days were spent in simple routine Eat-sleep-wakeup-eat-sleep-roam and its combination.

Dhanoulty is really a one horse town- rest all are mare and are available for hire!!! The locals tried to temp us to various beautiful "points" but our lethargy got better of us and we just strolled on the "mall road" which is of princely 1 km!!

We managed to eat in all possible dhabas and eat whatever they have to offer. Chicken were fresh( after you order the waiter used to run to butcher shop nearby and gets it for you!!) curd tasty and spices manageable .Best part was none of the heavy dinner /lunch exceeded Rs 125 in spite of our indulgences.

All in all magical trip - more so for the company but more about it later.

CONCLUSION- Want to run from the concrete jungle-

  • Start running early - Friday night if possible
  • Book EVEN bus tickets - night journey in night busses break your back
  • Book GMVN hotel- cleaner and service is good- drawbacks - have to book it from New Delhi in advance- will not provide precise guidelines even to reach their own property.
  • Mobile does not work- so carry it only for listening to FM.
  • Dhanoulty town or GMVN guest house by quirk fate only receives two channels- ZEE SMILE AND AAJ TAK - so if you hate both AVOID the trip.
  • However if you want lazy morning, misty afternoon and magical evening and don't miss the hustle bustle of the city . HIGHLY recommended.


In case any more information required feel free to drop line at at attaboy@gmail.com

Friday, August 12, 2005

After so long of mental planning lastly an unplanned weekend trip to dhanolty/dhanaulty. The place is supposed to be 30 km from a place which has a wierd spelling MUSSOURRIE( or whatever!). the problem is the hotel which we book GMVN has a phone which is permanently out of order! and no one i know has been to this place so there is no one to guide us the exact way to reach there.

May be it is more fun this way!!
The local FM station is running a contest about winning diamond. Participants are suppsoed to answer "KISKE BAJEE ?"( loosely who gets "fucked") based on diffrent situation.

Typical format

Guy: you are so cute , will you got out for coffee with me

Girl: Slap, Cant you go anywhere on your own. Do you take your mommy for even susu( pissing)!

Q: Kiskee Bajee?

options are:

a) Ladke ki
b) Ladki Ki
c) Mommy Ki !!!

Found it really funny

Imagine a future take:

Caller: Madam i won the price now i am here to take my Diamond( prize)
RJ: what prize , the contest is called kiske bajee so submit your name & number and i will announce it in tommrow's show- with sounds of drums and shouts of BAJEEEEEEEEEEE!!

another Question
KISKE BAJEE:

a) CALLER Ki?
b) VJ Ki?
c) Phone Company Ki?

Answers awaited!!!!

Monday, June 27, 2005

AM I EXPECTING SOME ONE??


Just like trees shed their old leaves to welcome spring!

This blog is awaiting a visit from "perfectionist" visitor!!

Hope the blog "rises" & "come up to the perfection level".Amen

Monday, June 20, 2005

Well some day you are the statue ,some day you are the pigeon (pun intended).

And on SOME DAY you are the chesire cat who just had its whole saucer of milk and smile on her face is actually mile long !!


feel like hmmmmmmm

Thursday, June 16, 2005

LETS BRINGS OUR COWS HOME


Discussions Discussions

Verbose people all around you from morning till night . Verbal diarrhea at its best.

No wonder in India discussions never end . I have a theory on this.

The reason for Indian argument never end is .......

The English saying "We can discuss that till the cows come home" well the English end their discussion in evening after The English cows come back to their home after having English grass in English meadows( how romantic!!).

In Indian situtation The "Cows never come home ".Cows wander in the street ,block the traffic,gore people to death , cause traffic jam BUT never come home

So Indian argument continues......

Friday, May 13, 2005

Andaz Apna Apna(AAA)-Only movie with Title song-chopped off!!


i know some of you have seen the movie more times than i have but some how even today i have not come across anybody observing that the title song "andaz apna apna " is missing from the movie!!I distinctly remember that the song was shot and also featured in the print posters and publicity( actually a had a poster for long time but sadly misplaced it). The scene on poster was Raveena,Karshima,Amir & Salman Driving a cycle with four seat(the one in which all four seats are in row ).The lyrics of the song were( correct me if wrong!!)
SHOLA SHOLA DIL BHARKE
DIL >>> HUM TADPE,
DEKHO DILBAR JANA
MAUSAM HAIN KYA MASTANAA
AAA DEKHE ZARA,DIKHLAYE ZARA
ANDAZ APNA APNA!!

i wait your confirmation/comment

Thursday, May 12, 2005

kvsong


kvsong
Originally uploaded by Amit Chaudhry.

For all those who have the fortune of spending their time at Kendriya Vidyalayas or KV's -

The eternal song which we have to "croon" under hot sun at 9.30 and at all annual functions was "Bharat ka Swarnim Gaurav Kendriya Vidyalaya Layega"( roughly translated " The golden age of India will be brought by Bright kids of KV).

I dunno how much I contributed in bringing the "Golden age of India" but had my more than fair share in bringing cacophony to already disoriented singing in school times.

We few friends deliberately either upped or lowered the tempo to make the whole singing more fun for us and frustating for our dedicated music teacher. I believe the major reason for her grey hairs.

This is an public apology for all the grey hairs. sorry madam!!


Monday, April 25, 2005

After years of blaming on bad light,incorrect angles & just plain bad photography.

Finally concluded that I am a 100% certified PHOTOPHOBIC ( as opposite to PHOTOGENIC) !!

May be reaching the self-actualisation stage where i have made peace with my external looks.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

With Mushy out of country the usual noise about India Pakistan friendship has started again. I also love peace and actually believe peace is the only solution to INDO-PAK issue. But welcoming MUSHY with garlands who de facto plan the Kargil intrusion is way too much.

Why don’t people understand that Pakistan as a country exists only on its hatred towards INDIA cannot have lasting peace with India.

If there is peace between India and Pakistan, Pakistan losses its purpose of existence.

Remember in 1947 the only reason of Pakistan creation was that Muslim feudal landlord of Pakistan and Western UP wanted to have their own political sphere. Our then gora masters granted this wish of theirs.

Today the feudal lords have changed into respectable politicians and joined by a rogue army and jehaadi fanatics, All supporting each other

All of them can survive only by waging a war proxy or direct with India.

So banish all thoughts of lasting peace. The current lull is due to the big stick of USA.

However someday better sense will prevail on USA and it will realize that its “Natural Ally” is its real “Axis of Evil”.
In fact Pakistan is a fit case of unilateral intervention by USA . The 4 necessary conditions for the same are :

1) It posses means and will to employ chemical and biological warfare against “western interests”.
2) It is controlled by a dictator, backed by army and has effectively killed democracy.
3) It has clear and evident link with terrorist organization, which work against “western interests”.
4) It has proved track record of nuclear proliferation and an easy target for sourcing a “dirty bomb” by terrorists.

I foresee that in near future USA will have to disarm Pakistan of its Nuclear capabilities and the process has actually started.

Will love to hear junta’s feedback on same at attaboy@gmail.com

Cheers
Amit

Monday, April 11, 2005

Friday, April 08, 2005

Hurray !!!

Indian women cricket team in world cup finals
Pity no direct telecast - had to virtually read the match on cricinfo.

Way to go girls. lets beat Australia in Finals and emulate Kapil's devil

One fan awaits you !!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

CASTING COUCH- SHAKTI STYLE


my view- if casting couch exist so what?

if somebody is "throwing" at you why not giver to her demands like any self respecting warm blooded male/female would do.

Shakti did not approach the girl for f$#@# she approached her for "help" knowing well that our own Shakti is famous for you- know-what and is not a director and producer himself.to add to it he himself is not much in demand himself.

i challenge India TV to do the same with 1 politician and the they will be slapped with 100 charges and shunted out of industry as Tarun Tejpal of Tehleka.

It is blatant invisaion of privacy and INDIA TV is doing that just as a eyeball catcher.


PS: My suggestion to India TV is not to stop the "string operation" at the time of "preposition" only. why not make it a celebrity sex tape ( a la Paris Hilton) this will help in their eye ball catching mission after who all who will not like to watch "hackaon hackaon Nandu sabh ka bhandu in real life action???

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Real good joke...

A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog peed on his leg. He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.
A passer-by, who had seen everything remarked, "That's very tolerant of you after what he just did."
"Not really," came the reply. "I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Well if the Monday does not kills you Tuesday does!!
had a long day on Monday and it get reflected on Tuesday morning did not feel like getting up in the morning.
managed to take a bath(4 days ina row !!!) and stumbled into the bus. Horror of horror had a 500 Rs note to pay for the fare.
The conductor managed to give "sane advice" about how irresponsible people are carrying such big denomination notes, all the stupid junta also nodded in agreement.

If the govt cant provide change why does it issues such denomination and the bank ATM insist in churning them out instead of the smaller ones in demand.

Managed to read 40 pages of the War of the world by H G Wells.Got it hardbound with "Time Travel" at dirt cheap price from Fort Mumbai.

Got a call from a "placement consulatant". they are like shadows they run away when you chase them and if you stand still they stand next to you.

journey back to home was uneventful apart from a eve teasing incident. The guy got ear full of choicest punju abuses from junta in genaeral and some threatening guestures just for blinking to a gal.


Was generally depressed due to certain karmic connections.managed to pep myself after watching "enemy at the gates" nice war flick. the heroine looked real eye candy. who wont kill for the promise of such beauty.

may be some day.....

Monday, February 21, 2005

after much long vacation back to office .married off a friend in distant JODHPUR- nice city.

PHEW Indian marriages no matter people stick to one marriage as they are too scared to do the rituals again.You are made a complete jackass for the day or two (or may be for life, depending on how you look at it) . Made to do obscure rituals which might have significance in agrarian culture of yore but look completely ridiculous in modern times.

Had a great time with rajasthani food (the battle of bulges was forgotten for a day or two and i dig myself into plate full of sweets. In fact they served the main course after you had enough of sweet dishes.

Finally really happy for my friend as after lots of sleepless nights going through responses to his matrimonial ad and detailed discussions with him on merits of matching hobbies for successful marriage.he finally settled down with a girl who is symmetrically opposite to her!!!

managed to sneak in "black" in a recently opened MALL in the hinterlands the hall was good, the movie great and the performances electrifying.

The dialogues and movie justified my decision of buying a black car as the venerable AB says "black is the color of achievement"- amen.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

All the water in the world
However hard it tried,
Could never, never sink a ship
Unless it got inside.


All the evil in the world,
the wickedness and sin,
can never sink your soul's fair craft
unless you let it in.

All the hardships of this world,
Might wear you pretty thin,
But they won't hurt you, one least bit...
Unless you let them in.
the water that waits to find a hole
to sink a ship and harm the soul

the water that looks to find the depth
to sink a ship and take you there,

the strenght of the ship and the soul , will be found
only though,

if you let it in

the character that fails at the first chance given
the soul that cracks at the first sign of invasion ,
the body which despairs at the first chance of
extinction,

is that the strength of the water that seeps in?


My recent musing
fond them resonable to be put on BLOG

Thursday, February 06, 2003


Wednesday, February 05, 2003

Tired of newspapers full of depressing news about India and Indians. try this site real good site and helps keep my faith in future of India
www.goodnewsindia.com

i hope many of the reader could just visit the site and read articles of ordinary man/women's extraordinary solutions to their own problems.

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

My idea of a perfect date a drive in humvee on sand dunes of Thar. Followed by a spin in F117over the mighty Himalayas. Any takers???
Please visit http://nawang.org/khukri_of_honour.htm and show that somebody cares for fallen soldiers in peace times also.

Fond it quite moving and one of the few site of kargil heros which is well maintained and suitable done up.

Btw Nwang's dad Harish Kapadia is a well known author many trekking books (trekking bible for shayadri trekking)
Nawang was part of my favorite regiment in Indian army the GORKHAS.

Sam Manickshaw one said " if a person says that he has never been afraid in life either he is lying or he is a GORKHA"

The Gorkha’s are the only race that is part of three nation’s Army- Nepal, India & UK .

A civilian salute to these brave people and NWANG

Thursday, January 30, 2003

when bloggers die do they go to blogger heaven?


Tuesday, January 28, 2003

dear junta,
i was recently enlightned that you have to "blog" regularly.i mean add new things to ur blog, generating more pages,more comments and all that.Being a born lazy(i even refused to cry when i was born due to laziness) it would be an uphill task for a downhill train( u liked the phrase i just made it).well i will try my best coz just herd/seen the adline

" When was the last time that you did something for the First time"
hope to do this time.

Wednesday, January 15, 2003

I got posted to Kurukshetra in Haryana. Now being a MT we had to do some work there to show the bosses. So all the Mt's decided to organise a meeting of the farmers and talk to them about farming and fertilizers. Word was sent out in the villages that "Doctors" from bombay had come and wanted to speak to the villagers. So a meeting was organised and a carpet was laid out and the MT's sat on a table in front.Google has played a huge role in acomplishing our MBA's, whatever informations and reports we got were all "googled" and submitted. All night I googled about rice farming and other topics and mugged them by heart. The next day all the Jat farmers came with thier customary Uddham Singh Style "Latths" and blankets and sat before the "Sheheri Daactors" and I began talking to them about the latest trends in rice farming, the meeting went on without a hitch untill one farmer got up and said " yeh sab to bhalo theek hai, lekin maine to gehu ugaye hai" "all this is fine but i have grown wheat". Things were beginning to go haywire. I calmly looked at the farmer and said pointing to another Management Trainee " koi baat nahin, gehu ka Daaktor yeh hai" "no problem this man is a wheat doctor", thereby sealing the poor Trainees fate. Well the story is too revealing to be told here
Then it was decided to have a "tour" of the fields. I went in the field and said " wah wah iss saal chawal ki fasal kaafi acchi hui hai", the dumbstruck farmer says " daaktor babu. yeh to gehu ki fasal hai"

So much for field Training

Friday, January 10, 2003

contact info- looneycrab@yahoo.com

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

the joke of the year
it is hard to belive but it is true

One "individhual' asked me today " what date is valentine day falling this year"?
i took as a joke and said it depended on lunar postion and mockingly look at the desk calender.
he actually looked intrested when i confirmed after doing some calculations ona hand held "calculator"
that valentine day is falling on 14th feburay "this year"
bless lord for small mercy in life

this is one mushy poem i liked .may be this is something to do with "bandra blues" where i am staying with not many friends around


I'd like to capture a rainbow
and stick it in a big box so that,
anytime you wanted to,
you could reach in and pull out
a piece of sunshine.

I'd like to build you a mountain
that you could call your very own
a place to find serenity
in those times when you
feel the need to be
closer to yourself...

I'd like to be the one
who's there when you're
lonely or troubled
or you just need
someone to hold on to.

I'd like to do all this and more
to make your life happy.

But, sometimes,
it isn't easy to do
the things I would like to do
or give the things I would like to give.

So... until I learn how to
catch rainbows and build mountains,
let me do for you which I know best...

..Let me simply be your friend.

Friday, December 20, 2002

my pen does flow alas only so,
the beauty that lies in the eyes,
sad to say everyone here is blind.

With one to sit idle at home, worst yet is to look busy when work is
unknown,

I sit hour after hour, hoping to use my brain ,
when all doors close,i resort to my pen ,
the ink then does flow,

to yoy frind i write I say, as pain in my body is still there,
the brain that urges a challenge worthy of me,
but to look foolish for the benefit of thee.

to you I write my friend as i can see, that life has a total different
meaning.
a cause that i search , a .life to live
freedom of my soul,
in any way..

yet bound i am to thsi place, bearing down on my soul and all there is,
I cry in pain , a silent tear,
that fall without a sound,

I yearn to see the sun shining, when i can run , scream and jump in joy ,
when i can take time to smell the flowers.
when i may lifet my pen, when i may paint from morning till the end,

when i fell that my brain is tickeled, in teh way it laughs,
the failure then would be sweet too, but alas, it is not there
only a silent yearnming that remains,

to you only my friend i share,
the thought that mind and biody both live
in harmony they should healthy too,
but with one giving me pain te other too joins it as a twin,

and if this is the way then dare isay ,
i will be there to see the ship go ,
beyound the younder where the lighthouse beckons ,

on the otherside of the river bid you farewell, for a good journey,

to you only my friend i share ,
that untill dawn i care , and the sun will shine
i need to smell it all
but with only all my might.

Thursday, December 19, 2002

like the wind,
i went my way,
the trees that stood, simply swayed,
the fields i entered , quivered a little,
the brooks, simply played.

like the wind , i simply went my way.
the fire the blew, grew stronger amidst me,
the warm glow within me was true,

the snow that swept , clean away,

I wait patiently for someone to tell,
The way I go, stopped by none,
My soul that searches , for that one,
for I no longer can change.
the truth , the honesty , the way of the wold,

and there i stand amongst the many
far from the truth , as people do follow,
I stand and stare for simply that one.

for alone I stood a long time now,
A force to come and mend the pain

for one to yet nugde me on.
not to change in any way

The wind that blow tells a tale,
I wisper and it conveys.

a wind that blows everywhere.

a wind that blows everywhere

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

b>b>Woods are lonely dark & deep
and miles to go before i sleep
and miles to go before i sleep- Robert Miles

with company directive to cover atleast 150 km as a sales campaigne in wild wild haryana village side in a gulf War vetren tata Sumo with an election style loudspeaker an ensembled road theatre of a car battery an VCD player , 21 inch colour TV. the jaggurnut keeps rolling.The resoponse in enthusistic to least.

The Villages are full of people dark & DEEP
And 150 km to go and reports before i sleep
And 150 km to go and reports before i sleep - Amit Chaudhry

Thursday, October 24, 2002

MY MUSINGS

The night’s chariot gone
& day arriving on a Monday morning

I wake up from deep slumber
With mind still in pervious day

With eyes wide shut & dreams still
Holding from behind
I walk to the mirror hanging on a
Veteran wall aside;

I stand before the mirror & see
a face unknown
this face was of envy & greed
of self pity & low self esteem;
This wasn’t me ,this was not
Supposed to be me;
It was a face of all bad things
I wanted to avoid;
But now I realized I was just the same.

The child in me revolted at the sight;
He could not held anybody responsible for his plight

TODAY I don’t blame sword of circumstances for my being;
I am what I made myself to be
I know it is only me to blame


this is one of the so called poem i wrote inspired by the atmosphere of WILD WILD HARYANA

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

This is the story of insanity over sanity; of rush of blood & disregard to personal safety. It all happened today when me a humble management trainee the lowest rung in chain of command was asked to go to FIELDS and do some" marketing" there. Well new to the ways of wild haryana I dragged myself after an eventful presentation to farmer about our "new & revolutionary " product (which was as Latin and Greek as to the farmer) we get down to some harmless banter. In the vent of things the farmer asked about my driving skills and I proudly boasted of even driving a road roller (truth). He threw a challenge " BHAI TU GHANA DRIVER BANE SAY TU MHARI BHAIS PE BETH KE DIKHAA". Without second thought I just nodded (I believe it was due to sleep) but it was taken to acceptance of challenge.

The next thing I remember was that I was on the buffalo. For people uninitiated buffalo do not have a "steering wheel" and no body has ever asked the "original manufacturer “ for a braking system in a buffalo. Well it has two pointed horns which can ACT I repeat CAN act as steering wheels. Another feature of this vehicle is its FUZZY LOGIC which decide wither the passenger is worthy for drive and weither only "shrug " of back will be enough.

To Put things in perspectives only LORD YAMA (god of death) has only registered vehicle owner in the world of this vehicle and even him is depicted standing by side of the vehicle rather driving it.

The only to start this vehicle is to kick with the shin of your boots on the side (civilized way) or alternatively JUST LIFT ITS TAIL (most effective way). Well I was not given the luxury of a prepared start and as a favor it was started and before I know I was holding its horns and clinging to its neck for my dear life. I know for sure this was my probably my last drive of buffalo or anything. The braking was non-existent and only prayer I had on my lip was “ NEVER GAIN”. With god’s grace and Buffalo’s generosity was thrown off into a place full of rice husk and I survived the “ DRIVE”



By the way this is a supposed to be a successful completion of the drive. Well the impact was made and I was made a hero a la Sylvester Stallone playing BUZKUSHI with afghan rebels in RAMBO III